Sunday, April 17, 2011

Concerta.

This may be news for some readers, but I am a sufferer of the topical Attention-Defecit-Hyperactive-Disorder. No, I'm not one of those bubbly teenagers who are all "Loike ZOMG I forgot about something? Im loike toteslulz ADHD! Awk!" (On an unrelated note: This "Awk" Thing- is that the sound you make when you choke on a penis because what the hell else could it be? But I digress-)no, I am swing-from-the-chandeliers-run-around-in-circles-with-someone-elses-socks-on-my-ears ADHD.
So bad however that I have to take medication to live up to "the man's" standards of behavioral acceptability! Not complaining though, whenever I take them for school I turn into a cold-calculating industrial academics machine. MEDICATION MAKES STRONG COMMUNIST WORKER OUT OF YOU.



Right up until i have to come home, at which point the aftermath of the side effects (Lack of appetite and insomnia, mainly) Start to hit me as I become a semi-lethargic blob of mess.


So logically, I stop taking them. This has been amazing for me socially, but academically... I'm failing math. There ya go. But my parents have been willing to help me, and since the sitting down and working method doesnt work on a fifteen-year-old, they decide to use bribery. See, my favourite band ever (and yours too, come on, admit it) NoFX is coming to play MacEwan Hall in My homewotm on june 30th.
My dad says He'll gladly pay for a ticket if I get a B in math.

Needless to say, it worked. I was stoked, and willing to do anything to make that B, and a ticket to this show a realty. I'm here to kick math and chew bubblegum. And I'm all outta gum.
Even if it means taking my pills, I would get that fucking B.

MATH READY.
CHOPIN PLAYING.
NACHOS IN THE MICROWAVE.
PENCIL CLICKED.
LET'S DO THIS- LEEEEEROOOOOOOOOY JEEEYEEEEEEHNKYIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNS
This method worked, for about an hour, you know, right up until the medicaiton kicked in. I crashed instantly, instead of the Cold-calculating industrial academics machine I usually turn into, I got a lethargic blob of math. Not even good math, either.

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