New Schedule.

Yep. Back to school soon. Fun summer, fun summer.

I apologize for the severe lack of quality posts this summer, I was out doin stuff im sorry.

So, anyway to make sure that doesnt happen during grade eleven, Ive decided to start up a schedule.

1.Cap'n Doodles story arc #1 Part 1

2.Registration day

3. Little adventures

4. Cap'n Doodles story arc #1 Part 2

Yep, updatin every sunday like "normal"

Not gonna start till sunday after though. Sorry to get your hopes up everyone. Joey's gotta go on wilderness sabatical. Gotta run away from all the sterff thats weighin him down. Catch ya guys later, stay classy.

The old post makes me kinda sick ish

Hello, weary net travellers.
I am updating just to let you know I aint dead. Just confused.

This blog doesnt matter to me as much as it used to right now.

Ill still post but i dont know what about. things are kinda boring as it stands.

OKAY. BLOGGY BLOG TIME.

I DON’T REMEMBER EVERYTHING FROM MY TRIP BUT I DO REMEMBER YOU. OR LACKTHEREOF. NOT A WHOLE LOT OF YOU IN CALIFORNIA, OREGON, IDAHO, MONTANA, NEVADA. NONE OF THOSE. NO YOU IN ANY OF EM. IT WAS LAME. BUT CALIFORNIA WAS AT LEAST SEMI ENJOYABLE.

I MEAN, SO IS OREGON, UNTIL YA GET INLAND. ON THE COAST IS LIKE, ALL SAND DUNES N SHIT. ITS AWESOME. ITS LIKE, PARKOUR EVERYWHERE. YES. PARKOUR IN THE DEESERT IS FUCKING SICK. LIKE, OH HEY A WALL LETS JUST PRETEND THERES STAIRS THERE. OH HEY IM ON TOP OF IT NOW. LETS SLIDE DOWN ON MY SHOULDER, NO BIG DEAL.

OH OKAY LETS RUN UP A 90 DEGREE SAND DUNE AND VAULT THE ONE ON TOP OF IT OH HEY DID I LAND WRONG NO BIG DEAL ITS LIKE THE SOFTEST SAND EVER JUST ROLL DOWN THAT SHIT LIKE WATER OFF A GOOSES BACK OR SOMETHIN. AND THEN THE OCEAN I GOTTA TLAK ABOUT THE OCEAN. SHIT WAS TIGHT. IT WAS ALL PRETTY N SHIT BUT SWEET BUTTERY JESUS EASTER DINNER IS IT COLD. LIKE, GAD DAMN. ANYWAY FRISCO WAS AWESOME. LIKE REALLY AWESOME. LIKE, THERE ISNT A SINGLE NORMAL PART OF THAT ENTIRE CITY. ITS ALL LIKE, UNIQUE INTERESTING LITTLE PIXELS MAKING ONE AWESOME FUCKING CITY. LIKE WHAT ID MAKE IF I STILL HAD SIM CITY, THEN ID CALL IN UFOS EVERYWHERE AND USE MONEY CHEATS LIKE FUCK. BUT WHATEVER YOU GUYS DON’T COME HERE TO READ ABOUT MY EIGHT YEAR OLD SELF PLAYIN SOME SIM CITY, YOU COME HERE TO READ ABOUT MY MENTAL ILLNESSES AND TO LOOK AT BADLY DRAWN OBLONG TITS. ANYWAY, I’VE BEEN FEELING CREATIVELY STUNTED OR WHATEVER AND HAVE BEEN YEARNING TO TAKE THIS BLOG IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION. I WANNA BE MORE CREATIVE. MORE CREATIVE MUCH MORE. I WANT THIS BLOG TO HAVE A LITTLE MORE TO IT THAN THE AVERAGE TEENAGERS INTERNET SPACE. A LITTLE LESS ALLIE BROSH RIPOFF, A LITTLE MORE “HOLY SHIT WHO GAVE THIS GUY THE WIFI PASSWORD I MEAN SERIOUSLY” LIKE, INSTEAD OF POSTING A MILDLY INTERESTING ANECDOTE ABOUT HOW MY BORING ASS LIFE IS GOING, I POST LIL COMIC STRIPS N SHIT TOO. COMIC STRIPS ABOUT WHATEVER. WHATEVER I WANT THIS IS MY BLOG NOT THE SYSTEMS I POST WHATEVER I WANT AND THEY HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT. FUCK YOU, SYSTEM I THREW IT ON THE GROOOOUUUUND!!! >.< DAMN, OREGON IS FUCKING GORGEOUS. GRESHAAAAAAAAM. IDK WHAT THAT MEANS I JUST SAID IT AND NOW I CANT UNSAY IT. DEAL WITH IT. OH YEAH, KEITH I GOT YOU SOMETHIN. SOMETHIN COOL. NO NOT A LAMPSHADE FROM RENO SADLY. AND NIKKI I… THINK I GOT YOU SOMETHING? NOT SURE HOW THATLL TURN OUT YET. AND HEY GENEVA IF YOU STILL READ THIS I MIGHT HAVE GOTTEN YOU SOMETHING TOO.

LOL, EVER LOOKED AT A HILL OR WHATEVER AND BEEN LIKE “I WONDER HOW MANY INDIANS POOPED HERE CENTURIES AGO…” YEAH I SAID INDIANS REFERRING TO ABORIGINALS. AGAIN DEAL WITH IT! YOU WANT STRAIGHT-EDGE PC CONTENT GO WATCH YOUR PUBLIC ACCESS TELEVISION. THIS SHIT ISNT PC. ALSO, LISTENING TO NOFX HAS GIVEN ME SOME NEW INSIGHT AS TO HOW TO HATE SOMEONE FOR A PROPER REASON. LIKE, YEAH. ALSO I HATE HATE HATERS. YOU HEARD ME. PEOPLE WHO HATE HATE. I HATE EM. CHEW ON THAT ONE, ABBOT AND COSTELLO. YEAH. SHOWIN YALLS WHATFERR. I KNOW WHATS UP. I KNOW EVERYTHING. IM THE KING OF PORTLAND. I DROVE THROUGH THE ENTIRE FUCKING CITY AND DIDN’T EVEN KNOW. KING OF PORTLAND MATERIAL RIGHT HERE. ALSO I LOVE YOU ALL. A LOT. AND NO IM NOT ANGRY IM JUST GRUMPY. SITTING IN A CAR FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME WITH NO ONE NEW TO TALK TO DOES THAT TO ME. I NEED LIKE, CONSTANT CONNECTION TO BE HAPPY. I NEED TO HAVE A MEANS TO SOCIALLY STIMULATE MYSELF. I MAY HAVE A PROBLEM. THIS WOULDN’T SURPRISE ME. YEAH, I MIGHT BE A SOCIOPATH. WHO ELSE ISNT SURPRISED. THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT. WELP, NOW IM DERIVING BACK TO MENTAL ISSUES. OH WELL. DEAL WITH IT. LIKE ALSO, I MIGHT JUST HAVE PROBLEMS. I MEAN IM PRETTY WELL ADJUSTED TO THINGS THAT WOULD BE CONSIDERED MENTALLY SCARRING TO TOHERS MY AGE. MAYBE WERE ALL JUST MELODRAMATIC. I MAY BE MORE STOIC THAN MOST BUT OTHERWISE IM JUST FINE. LIKE ANYONE WOULD CHALLENGE THE KID WHO DOENST FLINCH WHEN HE SEES A FIGHT BREAK OUT ANYWAY. LOL JUST KIDDING IM PROLLY JUST AS FLINCHY AS THE REST OF EM. I REMEMBER IN CALIFORNIA, WE SPENT MOST OF OUR TIME IN FRISCO BUT WE WERE STAYING DOWN IN OAKLAND. OAKLAND HAS A REPUTATION FOR BEING… LIKE FOREST LAWN. THE ENTIRE CITY. YEP. I WOULDN’T EVEN LEAVE THE HOTEL ROOM TO GO TO THE COFFEE SHOP NEXT DOOR. WOULDN’T EVEN GO TO THE POOL OUTISIDE. WELL, THAT ONE CAN BE EXPLAINED IT WAS FUCKING COLD ON THE COAST. LIKE, 68. THAT’S SIGNIFICANTLY LESS THAN 30. AGAIN, FIGURE THAT SHIT OUT. IT’S A MINDFUCK CONVERTING SYSTEMS HERE. MEASURING DISTANCE MAKES SENSE, BUT WEATHER IS LIKE, SHIIIIIIIIIIIITT. WHAT IS THIS I DON’T EVEN. HOW DOES THIS DEVIL SYSTEM WORK TO YOU SOTHERN FOLK. BUT EVERYTHING HERE IS WICKED CHEAP SO THAT’S OKAY. NO I WOULDN’T LIVE HERE. UNLESS ID BE LIVING IN SAN FRANCISCO. IF I CAN HAVE ONE PLACE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD THAT ID DROP MY ENTIRE LIFE FOR ITD BE THERE. JUST I CANT GET HURT. OR SICK OR… HMM… KNOW WHAT FUCK IT. IM HAPPY HERE IN CALGARY. WELLM THERE IN CALGARY, AT THE TIME OF THIS WRITING IM IN THE STATES. WOOOOO ROAD TRIP MORE LIKE RAD TRIP. I LIKE DRIVING MORE THAN FLYING. DRIVING MAKES IT SEEM ALL THE MORE REALISTIC

LIKE THE PLACE I AM VISITING ACTUALLY EXISTS, IT IS REACHABLE. WHEN I FLY ON A PLANE, I FEEL LIKE THE PLANE IS LIKE A PORTAL TO A MYSTICAL REALM AND THE DESTINATION IS IN MAGICAL FAILRYLAND WHERE NOTHING EXISTS AND THE POINTS DON’T MATTER. AWE YEAH WHOSE LINE REFERENCES FTW. MAN IN THE SOUTH IT GETS PRETTY HOT INLAND THOUGH ILL TELL YOU WHAT. LIKE, TRUCK TIRES EXPLODE REGULARLY. I GOT A RUSTY HUBCAP I FOUND ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD IN SOUTHERN IDAHO. IT WAS A LONGASS LINE OF STOPPED CARS ON THE HIGHWAY. WANNA KNOW WHY? SEMI TRUCK ALL THE WAY AT THE FRONT OF THE LINE FUCKIN BLEW UP. I LOOKED IN THE DITCH AND I FOUND A RUSTY OL HUBCAP FROM LIKE, YEARS AGO, ALSO FOUNF AN OVERGROWN EXPLODED TIRE AND A RUSTY ASS AXEL. AND A BUNNY. FUCK YEAH, BUNNIES. OH AND LOTSA BURRS. HOW DID I KNOW? I WAS WEARIN SHORTS AND I WAS BLEEDIN A LITTLE. WELL FUCK. ANYWAY, BOYEE I SWEAR A LOT. SORRY. ALSO THE CAPS THING. IVE GROWN USED TO IT BUT IDK ABOUT YOU GUYS. HERE ILL MAKE IT A LITTLE EASIER ON US HERE. THERE DOUBLE SPACED. WHATNOW, FUNDAMENTALISTS? FUNDAMENTALISTS ARE ALWAYS FINDIN SOMETHIN TO YELL ABOUT. YELL ABOUT ME YELL ABOUT MY PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE YELLING. YEAH. DO SOME GOOD FOR THE WORLD WHY DON’T YOU. NO FUN IN FUNDAMENTALISM. OR FOX NEWS. YEAH. HEY SEAN HANNITY WHY DON’T YOU COMPARE ME TO TERRORISM? AM I BETTER OR WORSE? YEAH, CAUSE YOUR OPINION IS TOTALLY LAW TO ME. WOW WHERE DID THIS COME FROM. THIS IS A LONGASS POST. WELL, IM TIRED OF WRITIN SHORT ASS POSTS SO HERES A LONG ONE. THIS IS MY “THE DECLINE”. MAN I AM GETTING ALL UP IN THE ADMINISTRATIONS SHIT ARENT I. TALKIN ABOUT THINGS I KNOW SHITFUCKALL ABOUT. LIKE FUNDAMETNALISM AND THE NEWS. HMM… SO HOW ABOUT THAT COLONOL GADHAFFI? AND… UHM… MAN IDK THE NEWS HERE IN THE US FUCKIN SUCKS. ITS LIKE, ALL JUST THE DUMB SHIT GOIN ON HERE NOT THE WORLD AROUND. ITS ALL NATIONALIST CRAP. MORE BULLSHIT CONSPIRACIES ABOUT BARACK OBMAMA, AND KIM KARDASHIANS ASS. SERIOUSLY ITS REALLY DUMB HERE, YOU COME TO THE US, YOU BECOME BLINDFOLDED AND SHUT OFF FROM THE REST OF THE WORLD WHEN YOU TURN ON YOUR TV. BUT I KINDA WISH CANADA WAS KINDA LIKE THAT. LIKE THE NEWS COVERED OUR GOVERNMENT. EVERYONE JUST ASSUMES WERE PEACHY-KEEN BUT NO WERE NOT WERE IN A CONVOLUTED SYSTEM WHERE OUR HONORABLE CHANCELLO- OOPS “PRIME MINISTER” IS GIVEN EVERY POWER FOREVER. HE MAKES BILLS, AND IF THE CABINET DOESN’T LIKE THEM, HE GETS A NEW CABINET THAT DOES. WE NEVER HEAR ABOUT IT SURE BUT HE FUCKIN DOES IT. ALSO, IM DONE WITH THIS CONSERVATIVE GONVERNMENT CATERING TO THE BIG BUSINESSES AND FUCKING OVER THE CITIZENS. ALSO HOW BIASED AND ONE-SIDED OUR LOCAL MEDIA IS. SERIOUSLY. FUCK YOU, CALGARY SUN. I MISS MY GLOBE AND MAIL. GIVE IT BACK. BUT MORE ABOUT HOW WERE SLOWLY MELTING FROM SOCIALISM TO CAPITALISM AND GETTING JUST AS FUCKED UP AS THE STATES, IN WHICH WE ARE BEING FINANCIALLY RUN BY THE TRANSNTAIONALS AND NOT OUR POILITICAL STAFF. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING DID I JUST SAY THAT? JESUS. SORRY, I ACTUALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHATS GOING ON, IM JUST PRETENDING TO SOUND SMART. I MEAN, IM PRETTY SURE IF I REVIEW MY ONE SIDED WESTERN CANADIAN SOCIAL TEXTBOOKS AND GOT A GOOD FIRM GRIP ON WHAT THE GOVERNMENT-ISSUED EDUCATION SYSTEM WANTS ME TO BELIEVE, “EVERYTHINGS OKAY. THE EAST HAS IT UNDER CONTROL. INSTEAD OF LEARINING ABOUT HOW GOERNMENTS HAVE FUCKED UP OVER THE YEARS LEARN ABOUT HOW SMOOTH AND PERFECT OURS IS.” FUCK YOU, MISS DAISY I WANNA KNOW THE TRUTH. HI, IM JOEY, IM FANTASTIC AND IM ROYALLY PISSED. SERIOUSLY IM NOT TRYING TO MAKE A JOKE HERE. BUT HERES A SBAHJ REFERENCE FOR YOUR ASS.

WERE GETTING BROAD SIDE SCHOOL FED UP THE BONE BULGE!

YEAH, I SAID IT. SCHOOL FED. OUR EDUCATION SYSTEM IS BLOCKING OUT IMPORTANT INFORMATION AND GIVING US BULLSHIT. MY BIG BROTHER DIDN’T HAVE TO LEARN ABOUT GLOBALIZATION AND NATIONALISM, NIETHER DID MY PARENTS. THEY LEANRED ABOUT THE USSR AND THE BERLIN WALL. THEY LEARNED ABOUT WWII. THEY LEARNED ABOUT ALL THAT. ITS SOME HARRY POTTER MINISTRY BULLSHIT GOING ON HERE.

BLAH. IM JUST RIDDEN WITH IGNORANT TEEN ANGST AND I WANT TO BE MAD AT MY GOVERNMENT EVEN THOUGH I DON’T HAVE A REASON TO BE. FUCK.

BUT I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE. I WANT RAW KNOWLEDGE HERE. ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT, ABOUT THE EDUCATION SYSTEM. ABOUT THE INEQUALITY AND HYPOCRICY. I MEAN, IM ONLY IN GRADE ELVEN, AHVENT LEARNED EVERYTHING YET BUT THE WAY THINGS HAVE BEEN GOING THE LAST ELEVEN YEARS IT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE IM GONNA GET TO UNLESS I TAKE ACTION OF SOME KIND. AGH IM GONNA HAVE TO RESEARCH MYSELF! GOOD GOD! EVER SINCE FAT MIKE BROUGHT OUT TEGAN AND SARA AND LIKE SAID “THESE TWO KNOW ABOUT HOW FUCKED UP YOUR GOVERNMENT IS” I WANNA KNOW TOO. I WANT TO BE AWARE OF THE TRUE HYPOCRACY

I WANT A REASON TO BE ANGRY SO I CAN BE COOL LIKE TEGAN AND SARAAAA!!!!

WOW WHAT A FUCKING LAME BABY POSER I AM.

FUCK, OREGON IS XBOXHEUG. XBOX LIEK WATER!

ALSO I WANNA GET MY LEANRERS WHEN I GET HOME.

NIKKI! …GIVE ME A RIDE TO THE AMA PLEASE? OK COOL.

ANYWAY, THIS IS LIKE, FOUR AND A HALF PAGES LONG. SICK. LETS KEEP IT GOING. WHOEVER READS THIS WHOLE THING EMAIL ME. ILL KNOW CAUSE THERES GONNA BE A REDICULOUSLY EASY QUESTION AT THE END AND I WANT YOUR ANSWER IN AN EMAIL. OR A GMAIL MESSAGE OR AN ACTUAL LETTER OR YOU CAN WRITE IT IN LAMBS BLOOD ON MY WALLS WHEN IM ASLEEP. THE GIRLFREIND AND I JUST LOVE IT! ONE THING I NEVER GOT. THE WORD FRIEND.I BEFORE E OR E BEFORE I? THIS IS ALL MS. VERNEYS FAULT. I SPELLED JUST FINE BEFORE HER ASS CAME AND WRECKED MY SHIT. HMM. BUT WELL WHATEVER I DEAL WITH IT LIKE A MAN. I SHOULDN’T BE TOO MAD AT HER. SHE GOT ME OUT OF GYM EVERY WEDNESDAY IN GRADE NINE. SHIT WAS TOO SICK. LIKE, ISTEAD OF PLAYING OUTSIDE WITH MY FRIENDS I GET SO SIT IN AN EMPTY CLASROOM AND DO MATH THAT THE OTHER KIDS DON’T HAVE TO DO?

THANKS A METRIC FUCKTON, MS. VERNEY!

MAN I LOVES ME SOME CAPSLOCK. IF THIS IS DIFFICULT TO READ FOR YOU GUYS, I APOLOGIZE. BUT HEY, YOURE STICKING THROUGH WITH IT AND I RESPECT THAT. YOU GUYS ARE TOUGH. YOU HAVE EARNED MY RESPECT. HOWS THAT FOR YOU. GOOD. IM GLAD. ANYWAY, WELL SURE THIS IS IN ALL CAPS, BUT AT LEAST ITS LIKE, SEMI GRAMTATICALLY CONSCIOUS. IF YOU TAKE ISSUE WITH MY WRITING, I HAVE A COMPLAINT LINE. YEAH, CALL TOLL-FREE AT 1-800-KISS-MY-ASS. SHIT ACTUALLY DON’T CALL THAT ONE. IT MAY ACTUALLY BE A REAL NUMBER. I DON’T REALLY HAVE A COMPLAINT LINE, THAT WAS JUST A JOKE. HAHA? THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT. ANYWAY, I GOT SO CAUGHT UP IN MY BULLSHIT THAT I NEVER STOPPED TO ASK HOW YOUR DAY IS GOING. HOW ARE THINGS WITH YOU? THAT’S NICE. ITS GOOD THAT WE ARE ABLE TO TALK LIKE THIS. DON’T BE A STRANGER NOW, YOU HEAR? YOURE A GOOD FRIEND. ANYWAY, IM LOST AS FUCK. I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF IM IN THE US ANYMORE, LET ALONE OREGON. BUT IF SO, I MADE IT THROUGH THE OREGON TRAIL WITHOUT DYING OF DYSENTARY. HELL, I DINT EVEN POOP. YEP JUST THOUGHT ID SHARE THAT WITH YOU. POOP. BUT SERIOUSLY WHERE THE FUCK AM I LOL. OH IM STILL ON THE OREGON TRAIL. MAAAAN! THIS IS TAKING FOREVERRRRR!!!!! I WANA SLEEP BUT THE CAFFEINE IS JUST TOO MUCH TO BEAR. NO BEARS. NONE. NO BEARS, NO YOU. THIS SUCKS. THIS SONG REMINDS ME OF LATE MARCH WHEN I WAS JUST GETTING INTO PARKOUR. I THOUGHT I WAS SO COOL BUT THEN EVERYONE ELSE TRIED DOING IT. ONLY DONOVAN GOT INTO THE ADVANCED SHIT THOUGH. I MASTERED THE VAULT AND THE JUMP. DONOVAN WENT FUCKIN SPIDERMAN NINJA ON DEM SHITS. BUT I CERTAINLEY LEANRED SOME NEW SHIT ON THE DUNES I TELL YOU WHAT.

I WISH EVERYTHING WAS MADE OF THAT SAND. ID WALK AROUND BARE FEET EVERWHERE AND I’D FUCKING JUST RUN SUPER FAST. NO BIKE NO CAR JUST RUN. RUN. THERES A HILL? 90 DEGREES? RUN UP DEM SHITS. DIG YOUR FEET RIGHT INTO THE SIDE. FUCKING FLY. I MISS THE SAND DUNES. IT WAS TOO MUCH FUN. TOO MUCH TOO GOOD TOO GOOD. MIND BLASTING. HAHA. DOORNAILS. THE DUDE FROM OLD MAN MARKLEY HELP WITH THIS ONE. IM STILL TALKIN ABOUT THAT SHOW, IT WAS ALSO TOO GOOD. FUCK BRO THIS SUMMERS BEEN GOOD TO ME MAN.I WANNA HUG IT. OH SHIT SON SOME SOCIAL DS COME ON THE ITUNES. THIS IS A BAND THAT JUST, PEIRCES YOUR HEART AND JUMPS INSIDE YOU, MAKES YOU SEE ALL THE THINGS YOU’VE DONE IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT. I MEAN, IM ONLY SIXTEEN I DON’T HAVE ANY MAJOR REGRETS THAT I HAVENT REVERSED BUT YOU KNOW OTHERS MIGHT. BUT THIS ALBUM IN PARTICULAR JUST GETS ME YOU KNOW? ITS LIKE… DAMN… LIKE SAD SAD BLUESY STUFF. ITS DARK SHIT. IVE BEEN THROUGH SHIT WITH THIS BAND. LIKE, ITS JUST LIKE AN EMOTIONAL BLANK INK TIDAL WAVE OF LOVE, PAIN AND THE WHOLE FUCKED UP CROOKED WORLD GONE WRONG WE THRIVE IN. COMIN FROM A MAN WHOSE SEEN IT ALL, WHOSE BEEN THERE, ALWAYS, WHOSE GOT HIS SCARS TO SHOW AND HIS PENNIES TO KEEP. HMM. THAT’S GOOD. MAD PROPS TO MIKE NESS. HE DESERVES IT. MIKE NESS, MIKE BERKETT, AND TIM ARMSTRONG ARE WHOMOFWHICH I OWE MY TEENAGED LIFE AND MAYBE A LITTLE MORE TO. OH GOD UNTITLED. SUCH A SAD SONG. THIS IS WHAT MADE THE TEARS FREEZE ONTO MY FACE AT THE BUS STOP. THIS IS WHAT MADE MY FEELINGS BLEED INTO INK. THIS IS WHEN THINGS REALLY GOT INSIDE ME AND I REALIZED HOW I WAS ACTING WAS HURTING EVERYBODY. AND THERE ARE PEOPLE IN LIFE THAT WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME, AND I WAS DISSAPOINTING THEM AND THEY WERE TURNING THEIR BACK. EVERYTHING JUST PILED UP AND IT JUST… FUCKING BOILED OVER. I FELL APART AND IT STUCK WITH ME FOR MONTHS ON END. I WASN’T ME. I WAS GETTING SICK ALL THE TIME, I WAS PICKIN FIGHTS, ARGUING FOR THE FUCK OF ARGUING. IT WAS JUST A BAD SCENE. BUT THEN I DUNNO WHAT HAPPENED, I EVENTUALLY FOUND SOLACE I GUESS. BUT YEAH, IT WASN’T FUN THEN. I CARRIED THIS BURNING JEALOUSY, THIS LOOMING CLOUD OF INADEQUACIES AND INSECURITIES. IT FOLLOWED ME EERYWHERE BUT EVENTUALLY I FOUND THE SUN. I WOKE UP AND REALIZED THAT THIS IS LIFE. ITS CROOKED, ITS FUCKED UP, BUT ITS THERE. ID RATHER FEEL THAT THAN NOTHIN AT ALL. AND THEN AS I ACCEPTED THIS I STARTED FEELING GREATNESS IN MY WEAKNESSES AND FOSTERING AND BUILDING ON MY TALENTS. I BECAME A BETTER PERSON, I BECAME MORE SELF CONFIDENT AND THAT’S ACTUALLY HOW THIS BLOG CAME AROUND. SOCIAL DISTORTION AND A LOT OF SELF ANALYSING. I AM ONE TOUGH MOTHERFUCKER, WHOSE BEEN THROUGH SOME TOUGH SHIT, NOT TOUGHER THAN SOME, BUT GOD DAMN, PRETTY FUCKING TOUGH. THROUGH THESE EYES, IVE SEEN LOVE AND IVE SEEN HATE. IVE SEEN THE VIOLENCE AND THE TEARS, THROUGH THESE EYES, IVE LEARNED TO WALK A STRAIGHTER LINE, IVE SEEN THE THINGS IN LIFE YOU DON’T WANNA SEE. I LIKE THIS CAPS BUSINESS. LIKE I SAID BEFORE. OKAY. WELL, THIS IS LIKE… SIX AND A HALF PAGES NOW, AND THAT’S LIKE, 16 TREES IN DOG YEARS ON ZIMBABWE TIME. SO THIS IS A HEFTY HEFTY HEFTY POST. HEFTY. ANYWAY YOU GUYS HAVE STUCK THROUGH THIS FAR SO IMMA AXE YOU A QUESTION

CHOP?

NOW IMMA ASK YOU A QUESTION. FIND A WAY TO TELL ME THE ANSWER SO I KNOW YOU READ THIS ALL.

HOW DOES ONE GO ABOUT HUGGING THE SUMMER?

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TENACITY AND YOUR READING THIS WEIGHTY MOTHERFUCKER. ILL BE KICKIN AROUND SOON ENOUGH AND TRUST ME, WHEN I GET THERE, YOU’LL KNOW >;D

Nklbhkgshjvdsahjbsakbjhfjkhfdjkbhdfakjbafjhvfdsalhsagdlbhkdsaklbjgfdsanjklgfdsajbhldsagjlbhkgfsablhjgfdsakljbngfdajklnfgskljbgfsdjlhkbfdsjbhkvdsjbhvdsjkblgfdsajklhgsdracismskjdfbdkjfnds fkijsabfsiodufsjbhdsfbsdajkhfbsdfjnsvkjnxcvijuhsdifugadfgkjbfdkjbasdfgouisahdgfkbsdkjlbgsdkjbgfdsaoihugfdsiouhgfdsjkbgnvckjbhsdgoisahdffghbdkjgblcbhiufgsfauiasdhgfjkdsgbjkvbnjkldxahvuiasracismracismracismracismracismracismracismracismracismRACISMsndfsdkjfhbsakdjgaRACISMsjdjksdgbhsjkfdghsadflkasdfkljhgbdsafuiRAcisMhksdghsdfkgisodfkljsdWHAT IS WRONG WITH ME RACISM?jsdhfjdbflakjhbsaRAAACISSSSMMM

THROW BOXES AT HIM

ITS LIKE MINECRAFT

OH MY GOD.

THIS PILLOW.

THIS FUCKING PILLOW.

AMAZING.

Ive been driving since like, eight.

Its three now?

THAT’S A FUCKING STOIC HORSE.

VERACOOOOOOSE

BEEEEEEAAAAAARRRDS!

Okay… after doing a little bit of math, ive been driving for like, seven hours today?

…im… so… I need to make up a word for this, hold on…

VEHICRAZY?

Sure.

Anyway, weve been driving from the middle of Idaho to the middle of Nevada?

Im in the middle of what some would consider a desert. I call it Saskatchewan with volume. I look out the window and it’s the same thing from five hours ago… but at least its not FLAT. HAHA FUCK YOU, SASKATCHEWAN.

ORLANDO BLOO.

FUCKING BRILLIANT.

Ive been watching Fosters the whole time. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Foster’s is awesome.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

-dh’aaaaaaaaaap-

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

-dh’aaaaaaaaap-

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

-dh’aaaaaaaaaaaap-

WHEE_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Sock. Phone.

THE MOVIE.

FOSTERS HOME.

Poor Eduardo.

BUNP.

AAAH OHHH NOOOOOO!

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I HATE THE ROAD FOREVER

Socjphone.

iPhone.

iPhone?

No.

Blackberry.

OLD blackberry

1^st 3G phone old.

Like, REAL old.

OLD

AS

FFFUCK.

This looks like a conversation between me and mischa.

O_O

I miss mischa

I miss everybody.

URRVRYBAHDY.

OVARIE BODY.

EEW

…Bloo’s a dick.

…

NP.

I…

HATE…

BLOO’S VOICE.

BUNP.

BUNP.

BUNP

BUNP BUNP BUNP BUNP

FCUCKING BUUUUNNNNPPP!!!!!

I HATE THEMSE!!!! rpOADS.

I need a smoother road to DRAW WITH. MAAAAAAAAAAAN…

STUPID AMERICAN ROADTRIPS, MAAAAAN…

But I am getting better with MSPAINT.

YUSS.

Omgomgomgomgomgogmogmg. Im getting like, fat n shit.

NO MORE TWIZZLERS.

…

just kidding… :(

Oh, whatever.

I need…

Exposure to become famous.

Hey, people reading this blog?

Wanna do me a favour?

Could you like…

I mean, if its not too much trouble…

See that plus one button?

Its here every post and its EVER SO lonely.

Show it a little love by clicking on it please?

Thanks. You guys are like, so nice.

Also, maybe spread this blog around a little?

Send it to your friends?

But not your mom. I probably know your mom, and I don’t want to set a bad example for myself.

Great, now I KNOW someone’s gonna send it to their mom… and their moms gonna be all like, THIS BOY SURE SWEARS A LOT. And then youll be all like, Ooooh, aaaawkwaaaarrrd and youll have no one to blame but yourself. Way to go, fagballs.

Oh HEY!

You know that thing that happened in Utoya? Of course you don’t. Go look it up.

AAANYWAY

I knew someone that was at the camp where that went down.

Yeah he was freaked right the fuck out.

I’m glad he got out okay, but I still feel bad for all the people that didn’t.

ANYWaY?

This post is ginormous. And yeah, IM STILL DRIVING.

Also im trying my hardest to update every Sunday, right?

Well, whenever I don’t do an update on Sunday, I’ll let people email me.

Do your worst, internet.

But honestly, send me anything illegal and Ill make sure you get whatevers comin to ya.

Well, im not sure what ill be able to do… I KNOW THE CYBER POLICE!

Or you know… the regular police.

Why am I dwelling on this?

Am I THAT vindictive?

Man. Im a dick. Sorry.

But please, no gore or CP. That shit aint cool.

This is what over nine hours with no internet does to me.

I get all depressed n shit,

POTATOES

POTATOES

POTATOES

POTATOES

POTATOES

POTATOES

POTATOES

THIS SPUDS FOR YOU.

C:

I dislike people who clain they have an interest in this show but they only like cheese cause hes quirky. WHO CARES. Hes dumb. Hes the basket for throwaway jokes.

Dude, this show had the best opening ever.

Like, I could watch that shit all day.

Just the opening.

Rylie puts it best, though

Like, when this played after school it was like,

You had the WORST DAY EVER right?

You turn your TV on to channel 38 and you heard the harp tune?

You suddenly knew everything was gonna be okay.

Like, it was 30 minutes of straight up relaxation.

Oh my god.

This show is heroin.

Sweet sweet heroin.

Dude, I don’t even care.

These dibs are excellent.

ME…

ME GUSTA…

Imaginary friends.

Need to build a house for them.

NEED TO MAKE A HOUSE

NEED TO BUILD A HOOOOOOOUSE

A HOUSE

A HOOOOOUUUUUUSSSSSSSEEEE!

HOUSE.

Why.

Why.

EXPLODING SHIT.

IM IN THE STATES AINT I?

Haha. 69 to Reno.

Well, around 68.something now…

STILL. ALMOST AT THE HOTEL. ALMOST AT WIFI.

ALMOST… ABLE TO… MY BLOG!!!!!!!

>:D

YES

POSITIVITY.

This is gonna be the most fantastical post ever.

Wha-hey!

Now, Ive reached my quota for blog posts! Given i did replace one that I might make up the difference for later but thats not important right now. What's important is that I need to figure out whats gonna happen for the blog... Now.

Like, this blog is my kitchen, and these posts are my dishes.

I'm for lack of better linguistics, remodelling my kitchen.

BUT HOWS EVERYONE GONNA EAT?!

I think in order to keep everyone happy, while I sort out this remodelling thing, I take the blog in a little bit of a different direction and I run a lil comic strip! Well, Whaddya say?!

...

NoFX.

Hey Whats up. Did you miss me? No? Thats fine....

ANYWAYS

A few weeks ago I was actually doing something worth blogging about.

There was a sold out concert. For THE BEST BAND EVER. Can you guess who it is? No?

Really?

Man, you're dumb.

Anyway, there was a sold out show, and you'll never guess who got tickets!

Thats right! I did! Very good you're learning!

So it was a NoFX show, and considering that they NEVER play in Calgary, I was more than excited. So I invited my BEST FRIEND EVER and we get to MacEwan hall where the concert was, and I guess just because its in a university, it has to be like, confusing as all fuck.

So I call my other good friend who was already right at the stage but it was super loud there for some odd reason, and his directions were, well...

...We'll just say less-than helpful.

BUT SUDDENLY:

MAGIC > MIRACLES

anyway, the opening band comes on, right?

And needless to say, I was both suprised and thoroughly impressed. I mean, a COUNTRY BAND OPENING FOR NOFX? AND IT SOUNDS... GOOD?

It was like their sound was perfectly contrasting AND complimenting what was to come. But what was to come didnt matter. It was all in the now, and it was beautiful.

Now, I suck at segues, soI think its time to break this moment like it was broken for me. Imma tell you about The sketchiest chick i think ive ever met. You know the witch from Left 4 Dead?

She looked kinda like that, but with blacker eyes, and... Less teeth. Yep. It's about time I told ya about MethMouth.

So yeah, this is MethMouth. She was by far the sketchiest... thing i think ive ever seen.

Tweaky, wiry, and half a set of teeth. Oh, my favourite.

So anyway, Old Man Markley eventually got off stage. And The next band came on. They were eh...

It would have been more enjoyable if A. They didnt take forever and B. we werent RIGHT up front next to the fency thingy.

and so after waiting forever they FINALLY got on stage. They were like that crappy band that took too long getting on and never left. Wait, no they werent like that at all. THEY WERE THAT CRAPPY BAND THAT TOOK TOO LONG GETTING ON AND NEVER LEFT.

Now heres when things got a little sketchy. First it started with the people in the mosh pit slamming against the fence. The fence that Nikki and I were up against.

lot of bumpng and slamming happened. And you'll never guess who popped by to say hello...

Thats right! MethMouth! You are doing so well!

Oh man, without even turning around I could tell, too. I could FEEL the menthols on her breath.

So aaanyway,

Nikki miust have saw that i was in a little bit of a predicament, becasue this is all I can really remember:

I think what happened was Nikki grabbed me as we were being shoved out from the middle, and not a moment too soon.

So anyway, here's what happened next or whatever

Anyway, we eventually found some safe place and the band was a lot more enjoyable. (I still hate them though.)

The show was mind-blowing.

AND THIS GUY. OH MAN, THIS GUY. ERIC FUCKING MELVIN. This dudes a champ, jsut so you know. So yeah, thats pretty much it for now. EXPECT MAJOR SHITFUCKING TO HAPPEN TO THE SITE. MAJOR. SHITFUCKING.